When you’re juggling the many demands of motherhood, it’s easy to push your girlfriends to the back burner. We’re here to tell you not to make that mistake. As a mom, you’re going to need your posse now, more than ever.
Girlfriends are the family we choose for ourselves. They are the people that know us and love us, even when we’re up to our eyeballs in dirty dishes and diapers. Which is when we need love the most!
It’s so easy for women to lose track of themselves as they take on the new identity of motherhood. Becoming a caretaker can slowly eclipse other parts of your personality.
That’s why it’s so important to make the time to stay in touch with your girlfriends.
Friends are there to remind you of the vibrant woman that is still in there, buried underneath the feedings and sleepless nights. Girlfriends ask how you’re doing, and they want to know the real answer.
Friends listen, laugh, and encourage us when we’re down. They can be a lifeline when parenting feels like a dauntless, lonely road.
And we don’t just mean your girlfriends that have kids, our kid-free friends can sometimes be a light at the end of a dark tunnel reminding us that there is still adult fun to be had in the world. So don’t count them out!
Have we convinced you to pick up the phone and reconnect with a friend yet? No? Come on!
We know you’re tired, we know you’re overwhelmed… but here are FIVE good reasons why making time for your girlfriends is worth the effort. So trust us and make that call. You’ll be glad you did.
Empathy And Support
When your child is going through a particularly rough “phase”, there is nothing like the love and support of another mom that’s been there to pull you back from the brink.
Parenting is hard, sometimes love is all you have to get you through. Your kids aren’t the only ones that need love, you do too. That’s where your girlfriends come in.
No matter what craziness is going at home she’s there to say “I’m here for you, and your kids are going to turn out just fine”. Sometimes we need to hear those words from a trusted friend to keep going.
Be sure you pay the the mom karma forward and do the same for another girlfriend that needs a hug.
Mom Guilt
It’s tough parenting in this age of social media, it sets up expectations of perfection. Mommyhood is riddled with social pressures and a gnawing sense that you’re somehow “doing it wrong”.
Girlfriends are there to help you fight these unrealistic expectations and not fall into a sinkhole of mom guilt. They’ll be the first ones to tell you “cut the crap, you’re doing an amazing job”.
Our girlfriends help us take a step back and not be so hard on ourselves. They remind us to be grateful for what we have, and not sweat the small stuff.
Girlfriends offer perspective, which is something we can lose when we’re deep in the mom trenches.
Confidants
Sometimes you just need someone to confide in, and who better than a close girlfriend to lend a non-judgmental ear?
Is your spouse not helping out as much as you’d hoped? Kids driving you insane? Worried about keeping your sh*t together when you go back to work? Girlfriends are there to listen and help talk you through it!
When you find yourself thinking “I am not really liking my kid right now and I need help”, call a girlfriend! She won’t think you’re a “bad” person for feeling the way you do. She won’t spill your secrets either.
Be A Better Spouse/Partner
This one may not be as apparent at first, but stick with us. It’s important to do things separately from your significant other once in awhile – lunch, dinner, a spa-day, etc. because it can help you be a better wife or girlfriend.
A woman with her own network of friends will be less codependent on her partner, which in turn helps nurture a more positive connection. It’s unrealistic to expect to get everything from one person all of the time. Putting that kind of pressure on a partner can kill a relationship.
Girlfriends are there to help pick up the slack. They can be an extra sounding board, a helping hand, or just someone to go see that rom-com movie with.
Expecting your partner to be able to provide all the emotional support you need through this parenting journey is a sure-fire way for one of you to crack. Even more reason for both of you to reach out to your friends.
Adulting
And finally, sometimes you just need to remember that there’s still a grown-up inside you. Taking a night out with your girlfriends isn’t selfish. It’s a way to recharge your batteries so you have more energy to give to others.
An evening spent engaging in adult conversation (possibly with some adult beverages) can be just the thing you need to pull you out of a funk and remind you that you’re still fun! And you can talk about topics other than Dora The Explorer or Thomas The Train.
It feels good to do a little adulting once in awhile.
Your kids won’t be little forever. Having girlfriends in your life will become even more important as you deal with future hardships you can’t foresee; like the loss of a job, an illness, or the death of a parent. So don’t cut them out!
Keep your girlfriends close and on speed-dial. Together you’ll celebrate achievements and grieve losses. You’ll be there for each other.
Every time you catch up with an old friend, it’s such a familiar and warm feeling. It’s like returning home.
Do you make time to spend with your girlfriends? What does it bring to your life? Share your thoughts and comments in our Relationships Community.
