Our kids aren’t always the victims of bullying, sometimes they’re the aggressors. If you’re a parent wondering how can I stop bullying? The first step is to get involved!  

And don’t rely solely on punishment to solve a bully problem. You have to understand the why behind the behavior so you can help your child move through the feelings causing them to mistreat others. If you don’t address the root cause, the bullying behavior will likely continue.

If you see signs a child is bullying others, specifically YOUR CHILD, know that you are not alone or helpless.

How can I stop bullying? One of the first ways is to listen and observe with an open mind. Don’t dismiss bad behavior on the part of your son or daughter as “just a phase” or something “all kids do”, pay attention to see if a deeper pattern is emerging.  

Likewise, If a teacher or other parent comes to you about bullying they witnessed, don’t immediately go on the defense.

How can I stop bullying? Hear them out and try to understand what is actually going on.

Remember that taking a purely punitive approach with a bully won’t address the root cause of the issue. It might, in fact, make the situation worse if your child lashes out as a result of the punishment.

Helping children work through the complex emotions underlying bullying behavior is the best way to break the cycle and resolve the issue.

How Can I Stop Bullying?

Discuss Values With Your Child

This is one of several ways to stop bullying. Help your kids understand why things like acceptance, sharing and kindness are important.

Practice Empathy

Ask your child how they would feel in different situations so they can learn to understand how their actions affect others. Empathy doesn’t just happen, it’s a skill that can be improved with practice.

Explain WHY A Particular Behavior Is Unacceptable

Be it gossiping, name calling, excluding, etc. talk to your child about the specific behavior they are engaged in and help them understand why it is not acceptable in your family.

Encourage Bystanders To Speak Out

Have the “how can I stop bullying” conversation with your kids. Encourage them to speak out when they see someone being a bully. Help them feel comfortable reporting bullying behavior to an adult, and explain the difference between helping and tattling. 

Get To The Root Of The Behavior

Bullying generally stems from a feeling of superiority over another individual or group, and/or feelings of hurt or insecurity.

Try to understand why your child is engaging in the behavior, so you can help them work through the underlying feelings that are causing them to mistreat others.

Monitor Your Kids Online

Cyber-bullying can be a big problem. Pay attention to how much time your kids spend online (or on smartphones), follow their accounts, know where they hang out online, and watch for emotional reactions following online time.

Be Brave Enough To Self Reflect

How can I stop bullying? Look carefully at your own behaviors and the behaviors of other family members and think about where a bullying behavior may have been learned.

Do you gossip? Talk about “those people”? Or act aggressively when frustrated?

Kids see and hear everything, and they may be picking up cues for how to act from what they see at home. Check to be sure your actions reflect your values.

As children learn to navigate social status, popularity, and feelings of powerlessness, bullying will most likely rear its ugly head. It doesn’t mean you are a bad parent!

Growing up is a bumpy road, inappropriate behaviors will happen. Even if you hear other people say “being a bully is just a part of growing up”, don’t believe them. You can take action!

Ways To Prevent Bullying -Resources

Books:

  • The Weird! Series, by Erin Frankel– a three-part story that explores the roles of the bullied, the bully, and the bystander. The three books (Weird!, Dare!, and Tough!) show kids how to break out of those roles and be their fabulous, caring selves. (Age 5-9)
  • The Juice Box Bully, by Bob Sornson and Maria Dismondy – The message for kids in this book is that when it comes to bullying, you are not alone and you can do something. (age 4-10)

At the end of the day, bullying prevention is tied to the main goal of parenting: raising your kids to be kind, understanding, well-adjusted human beings that can effectively express and process their emotions.

How can I stop bullying? Instilling strong values in your child is the ultimate way to prevent them from being a bully. Keep going…you’re doing great!

 

Would you recognize the Signs Your Child Is Being Bullied?